Throwback Thursday

I am going to an orchard tomorrow with a pumpkin patch with the kids. We are so excited about going. The last time I went there I was 8 months pregnant with my son which was 5 years ago. I was looking back at the pictures. I am very excited to go with them and get some new pictures with all the babies. So here are some photos of our last trip.

Throwback Thursday

Today's throwback Thursday is going to be a little different. I have been looking at my pictures from when I was smaller not bigger. When I was in high school I was about 140-150. Of course at that time I thought I was too big. As a high school girl I felt fat because yes I was picked on by some other high school girls saying I was fat. So of course that made my self-esteem go way down. I never really talked much about how I was picked on, and how that made me feel then. I hope that my daughter never goes through that. I am bigger now than I was then, but I think I am much healthier now.

Throwback Thursday

Yes I know it is Friday and not Thursday. I am writing this as I am currently staring out at the ocean. I am thinking about our family vacation last year. I had an amazing time then, but I was definitely not happy with myself. Looking back on my pictures I think about the fun times we had, but I felt awful about being out there with the way I looked. Now this year I am not yet where I want to be, but I am a heck of a lot closer than last year. I can't wait for our pictures next year because I know I will be much further along. Here are some of y photos from last year. Like I said we had an amazing time then, I just was not happy with myself.

Throwback Thursday

We just celebrated my daughters 2nd birthday the other day (I wrote a post about it), and I started thinking about her 1st birthday. Her party was one of the worst moments of my life. I was overjoyed that my baby was turning one, and I will forever remember that day for that. I tried my hardest to focus on that, but there was a lot of other stuff going on as well. There was some personal family things happening that made that day miserable for me. I found out in the middle of her party that the doctors thought my mom may have cancer. This was quite possibly the worst time to find this out (as if there is ever a good time to find this out). That moment will forever be burned into my memory as one of the worst moments of my life. I remember standing on the front porch (luckily the party was in the backyard so none of the other party guests knew what was going on). Then I just remember falling to the ground crying and screaming when I was told this. I was finally calmed down some, and slapped a smile on my face to enjoy the rest of the day with my daughter. I had a fake smile on my face for awhile. I tried my hardest to just focus on her and be happy. It was her day after all, and not fair at all what else was going on that day to her. I do not think I will ever tell her everything that happened that day. All I want her to remember and know about is that we all celebrated her and how wonderful she is. Luckily she was 1 and had no idea what was going on. I will always remember my baby's first birthday party as a way to celebrate her and her first year of life, and I try to never remember everything else that went on that day. We later found out that she does not have cancer. Looking back on those pictures I remember the sadness I felt that day, and the happiness for my daughter. The latter is what I try to focus on. I also was very very unhappy with how I looked. It was about 95 degrees that day, which made it even more miserable that day. I was so much happier at her birthday party this year.

 

 

I am so glad that I have these pictures so that I can remember her special day celebrating her, but I hate looking at myself in them. 

Throwback Thursday

 Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year. I love everything about it. Unfortunately that also includes all the fatty foods as well. Every year we take a trip to an apple orchard as a family. I have very fond memories of these trips. I look forward to going every year. It is one of my favorite things we do as a family. This apple orchard is so much fun. We walk the orchard, let the kids play, and of course eat. They have the most amazing apple donuts there, they have pumpkin now as well. I mean you can smell them before you even get out of the car. My mouth is watering for them while I am typing this actually :) Well the problem is we would get a dozen at least, and I always eat at least half of them. I did not have any self control. After the orchard we always go to this big park. We eat lunch there, throw the football, look at the waterfalls, walk along the water. Well this year I am looking forward to going on this trip again in October, we always go in October. I plan to eat a donut again this year, I mean how could I not right? I will have one apple donut while at the orchard, and one pumpkin donut after lunch. I still get my treats in, but in moderation. I am so ready for October to be here, and go on our fun family trip. This year also I will not get winded walking the orchard, and I can actually enjoy it. I am looking forward to our pictures this year. I know I will be much happier with them than I have in the past. Obviously I love and cherish these pictures because it is fun family memories that I would never change, but I know I will be much happier this year with them.

Throwback Thursday

I find that I am torn with looking at my old photos. I like looking at them for two reasons. One to see the memories I have made with my amazing family. I am so happy that so much has been captured in my children's lives for me to cherish forever. Two to see where I was and how far I have come. I do not like looking at them because it is hard for me to see where I was. I cannot believe I ever let myself get like that. I do know looking back on these though that I will never be there ever again so they do help keep me motivated.

These two pictures were taken on a trip my hubby and I took with my brother and his wife. We had a fantastic time. I honestly can tell you that I did not feel as big as I look. I knew I was big, but not that big. These are hard to look at for that reason. These were actually taken just a few weeks before I started my journey. I said the whole trip when we go next year I am going to be healthy and fit. Well I can happily say that I am well on my way there. I am excited to see our pictures next year from our trip.

Throwback Thursday

My son will be starting 1st grade in a few weeks. I am excited for his first day. I remember last year taking him for his first day of kindergarten. We were all so excited for it. Of course we walked him into his classroom that morning and took pictures. I was so excited about them, but now I can hardly even look at those pictures. I of course love them because it is documentation of my baby's first day of school, but I wish I was not in them. I am much more excited about taking pictures with him this year for his first day. I know that I am not where I want to be, but I have come a long way in a short time.

I am so happy that I will never be this big in my pictures again. Seeing this picture motivates me to reach my goals even more. I am excited to post our picture from his first day of school this year. I think I will be much happier with it.

Throwback Thursday

We went to the beach last year. I did not feel too bad about myself. I know I did not look great, but I was not too embarrassed. We will be going to be the beach in a few weeks. I am much more excited about my pictures this year than I was last year. I like looking at old pictures of myself to see how far I've come so I never let myself get that way again. So I will be doing a throwback photo of myself every Thursday.

What a difference a year makes!!